Thanksgiving’s Revenge


Bryan's Turkey Derrick (photo by Bryan)

So karma got its revenge on thursday. For the first time in 11 years we did not travel to Southern California for Thanksgiving. With my new job at Starbucks and my dad’s new job and the fact that my mom couldn’t get the time off, we chose to stay here for the holiday. Bryan, my brother, decided to deep fry a turkey for the first time and man was it good. He kept slapping my hand because I was picking at it (he would smack Ma’s hand even though she started it).

When it was almost time to eat, I decided to sit before we all crammed into Ma’s kitchen. We thought her kitchen was big when they remodeled after their house fire 13 years ago, but it’s really not. I chose to sit in one of the comfy chairs, and it was a good thing Pa didn’t sit in it, because as soon as I sat, one of the legs split and I nearly fell backward. I grabbed onto the table with one hand while my mom grabbed onto the other. I unfortunately twisted weird and my back and hip cramped. I got up and moved out of the way so they could get the chair out and I could move around to lossen up my back and hip. Before they could get another chair out of the back room, my dad went to pull his chair up to the table and a splinter got him in the finger and drew blood. We decided that it was karma telling us that we should have traveled anyway, whether or not any of us could afford it. Dinner was served after that and shortly into the meal my mom twisted in her chair to get a more comfortable position and a broken wire caught the side of her pants and tore them slightly. We all looked at my brother waiting for something to happen. Karma liked him that night and decided not to include him in our torment.

Mr. Turkey (photo by Bryan)

Mr. Turkey (photo by Bryan)

On a different note, dinner was excellent. Bryan’s deep-fried turkey was a huge hit and we ate that entire bird that night with hardly any leftovers. There was plenty of ham and Ma’s roasted turkey left for sandwiches the next day. My gluten-free cornbread stuffing turned out great. I have never made stuffing before. I always made the cornbread and gave it to my mom to fix but she wasn’t feeling too well that morning and she gave me the stuffing mix (celery and onions already cut and mixed with parsley, rosemary, thyme, and sage ready to be cooked) and I put everything together. Ma made her family favorite cranberry jello salad with apples and pineapple. My brother enjoyed my cornbread muffins (the only gluten-free thing I make that he’ll eat).

After dinner was over and before the tryptophan could kick in, Bryan and Papa decided to play pool (or billiards, whatever you want to call it). Bryan won two out of three and it was my turn. Bryan’s better than me, but I’m not too bad. I won two out of three only because of the damned 8-ball. Then we all sat down to watch a comedy ventriloquist. He was hilarious. At one point the ventriloquist messed up and you could see it in his face but he stayed in character. He meant to say polio and scoliosis but accidentally combined the two words and said poliosis. Pumpkin pie was served somewhere and my pumpkin tarts didn’t turn out exactly as I had hoped but there were still good. The ginger cookie I used as a crust was too strong in flavor and drowned out the flavor of the pumpkin. I’ll keep tweeking the recipe until I get it just right.

As far as the chairs are concerned, I think we’ll travel next year for our own health. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and got to spend it with family and/or friends.


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