For Tia

I’ve been telling myself for a while that I really do need to open up to people and not be scared to do so. Since December 23, 2010 I’ve been keeping a journal as I said in my last post. One of the reasons I decided to keep a journal again (I hadn’t written in a journal in seven years) was because I felt I needed to document something that Tia wrote me on Facebook. I will share bits of what she wrote because I haven’t asked her permission to share the whole thing with all of you. Is that selfish? So I will share a little and hopefully share a little more about me in the process.

I just don’t understand how somebody that I’ve never met could care so much about me and my family.

I know the Boy Scout Law by heart and have for most of my life and do my best to live by it every day. My dad used to be the Boy Scout Master for the local troop here in Bishop, California and my brother is an Eagle Scout. I spent a little bit of time at the Boy Scout Hall and got to learn the way that Boy Scouts are supposed to represent themselves and the organization every day. I tried doing Girl Scouts but it wasn’t the same as what I got to see with the boys and I chose to not go on after my Brownie year. I helped with the three Eagle Scout projects that were done to help restore a little bit of Cerro Gordo, a small ghost town up in the Inyo Mountains. The Boy Scout Law is: “A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, curtious, kind, obeident, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverant.” I was brought up to think of others first and yourself second. I always volunteer for things. I have a hard time saying no to certain things.

It’s easy for you to feel close to me, because I put my heart on my blog almost daily. But I know SO little about you. I don’t know about how you grew up. If you have a best friend. What you like. What you don’t like. I’ve seen only one or two pictures of you. I don’t know you, as well as you know me.

I grew up in Bishop, California (a.k.a. The Mule Capital of the World). It is located in the Owens Valley in between the Sierra Nevada Mountains and the White Mountains. We are half way between Los Angeles, California and Reno, Nevada and we live at 4140 feet in elevation. My best friend is Mindy and we’ve been friends since the first grade, in other words for about 22 years. We know what eachother are thinking with the slightest look. She lives in Roseburg, Oregon and I miss her terribly. She is the closest thing I have to a sister. I don’t really have a lot of pet peeves, but I will get into that in another post. I hate getting my picture taken. I prefer to be behind the camera not in front of it. People constantly tell me I’m beautiful but most of the time when I look in the mirror, I can’t see it. I was teased unmercifully in school and I don’t have a lot of self-esteem because of it.

I sent Tia and her family a big box full of Christmas presents and we have yet to meet. I really only like to buy gifts for children during the Christmas season because I think the holiday is mostly for them. They are the ones who help to make it magical. We don’t really have a lot of little kids in my family. They’ve all grown up so I tend to bake for everyone.

I realized that Angels are presented to us in ways that aren’t visible to the naked eye. You go on with your day to day, having your struggles, living your life, doing your thing. To you, you’re just an average person, living in a small town. But to ME – you are a beautiful light, that shines upon me and my family, for no reason other than: you care.

It’s amazing. It’s amazing that you can care for my family, in the most UNSELFISH way.

Tia, thank you truely IS enough. For whatever reason God has brought us together, I think when we (or at least I) needed it most. You have done so much for me over the year that we’ve chatted on Twitter and Facebook I don’t think you realize it. You sent me a smile in the mail when I was feeling down about myself and gave up on the world. You were always there when I needed a friend to talk to and vent when something happened in my life.

Tia, YOU are my Angel. Thank you.

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2 thoughts on “For Tia

  1. Thank you for being so honest and open, and sharing yourself in this way. I really felt that post, it came from the heart.

    Would you believe me if I told you that you’re beautiful? Inside and out. I could feel your light shining from the words you’ve lovingly written.

    You are a true lightworker, stand tall, be proud, and don’t hide behind, guilt or shame or any of these other disguises to stop you from being the beautiful, talented, gifted healer that you are.

    Love and Light 🙂

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