I’m sorry if I piss people off with this. I don’t like Valentine’s Day. This is one holiday that I don’t celebrate. I believe someone should send someone flowers or tell them that they are loved out-of-the-blue, not just because it is a holiday.
Growing up in school, I always looked forward to Valentine’s Day and getting the special little cards ready to give to my classmates friends and teachers. I tried to give one to everyone, even if I didn’t really like them, but I remember not really getting as much as everyone else. For the longest time I didn’t let it bother me. As I got older, my desire to celebrate this particular holiday diminished. My parents don’t really celebrate it and tell each other every day that they love each other. I’ve never had a reason to celebrate it.
I turn 29 in thirteen day (yes, I’ve started my countdown) and I have only been on one date in my life. You see, the types of guys that I’m interested in are not interested in me and if they are, they don’t give me any hints. I usually attract the odd guys, sweet but not my type. There are really only two guys in Bishop that I can really see myself with, but I don’t think they see me in the same way. People tell me that I need to get out more, but do what? Go to one of the bars in town? I barely drink and the few times that I have been gone out with, they get hit on, not me. No matter how hard I try. I’m usually the one who gets left in the corner to watch the bags and drinks or the one that guys ask to dance with because they feel sorry for me or they are so drunk that they won’t remember it in the morning.
I’m not trying to be down on myself but watching so many people be happy and falling in love when you’re not makes it hard to think positive. Every year I find myself alone while every one else does something special. I know there is someone out there for me and our paths just haven’t crossed yet but it’s days like this that makes me wonder if they ever will. One if the main thinks I want in life is to fall in love, no matter how painful it might be, and start a family. I don’t want to start a family alone.
I know that some people hate hearing that I dread this holiday so over the last few years, I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and go along with it. I wish people a Happy Valentine’s Day and put on a smile but inside I can’t help but feel terrible. I know that I am special to my family and friends but I want something that is just a little more and until I am able to feel that, I will continue to dread Valentine’s Day.
So to everyone that has someone special out there to celebrate this holiday, Happy Valentine’s Day.