Unless you have dyslexia, you truly cannot understand how frustrating it can be to live with it. I think I’ve written a little about my dyslexia in the past, but I cannot remember how much I said. I did write a little about my dyslexia in my January 25th post about my writing.
Books have always been a passion of mine, but I didn’t really start to read until the fifth grade. Reading has helped the dyslexia but it is still difficult. I kind of decided to write this after watching an episode of Shake It Up on the Disney Channel (don’t judge me) when Cece has to face the fact that she has dyslexia and was too embarrassed about telling her best friend. I can relate to that. Cece said two things in the episode that is true for me.
“Every day I wake up afraid that I will have to read something out loud.”
“Sometimes I see words and it just looks like alphabet soup.”
Growing up, I was scared to read anything out loud because I usually got laughed at because I ended up stuttering because the words and letters would rearrange themselves on the paper. I learned how to read ahead and yet still follow along with the rest of the class, that way if I got called on, I already knew what I would have to read and the stuttering would be less apparent. One of the things I was good at in school was spelling, but I always would have to write them down a few times before they would appear normal to me. I don’t know if that makes sense. I still have to write some of the most simple words down in order to spell them out because in my head they are jumbled.
When I read, or even write, letters don’t look right. Sometimes they don’t even make sense to me, at least I don’t see them as letters of the alphabet, but rather something incomprehensible. It can take me a while to realize what I am staring at. I know this is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life and I do manage to live with it. Typing is difficult too. I hit the back button so much when I write these posts because my brain will want to type a certain word and before I can comprehend what I want to write I have added random letters to very simple words. It sometimes takes me a while to realize that I have made a mistake. All I can say is thank God for spell check.
I can read one page of a book a few times before I understand what is being said. Quite a few of my family members have some form of dyslexia so we all understand what one of us is going through. While I have learned to deal with my dyslexia, I still find it frustrating. I find it hard to read even to myself.