I have written over and over how I need to lose weight and get healthy and that I have been doctor ordered to. Tia’s post today made me want to cry for poor Charlie who just doesn’t understand what needs to happen. Poor little guy. I want to do the same. I want to get healthy and drink more water because I tend to dehydrate faster than the normal person. Now matter how hard I seem to try, I just don’t drink water.
Last week I tried giving up coffee, or rather caffeine, but as the weekend came upon me I found myself brewing a pot of coffee and I drank nearly the entire pot. I was trying to give it up because I’ve been having stomach issues lately and can’t figure out the cause of them. After reading Tia’s post tonight I think my first assumption is the best one. I’m dehydrated. The temperatures are reaching into the 80’s and before we know it, it’s going to be 90 and then 100 degrees.
I keep trying to give up coffee or at least build up enough strength to cut back. No matter how hard I try, it doesn’t happen and I go back to my old ways. My supervisor said it best today. I just drink too much coffee. I’ve been trying really hard but I know that I can do this. I’ve gone two months before without a cup of coffee. I can do it again.
The other thing that I have been trying to do is eat healthier. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables but when you have a million food allergies and live in a small town, that comes at a small fortune. I’m poor. Flat out. I live paycheck to paycheck and can barely afford the food that I live on. I cannot wait for the Farmer’s Market to start back up and I need to ask someone about how the community garden works. If I can grow my own vegetable and fruits, that would make eating healthier a lot easier on my VERY tight budget.
Right now, I don’t have any fresh foods, my fridge is damn near empty and my pantry is filled with mostly starches that I’m not sure I want to eat too much of. I don’t get paid until the 15th and it’s only the 2nd right now. I have paid off my second credit card and I have taken all of them out of my wallet. My parents help with my groceries but I don’t want to rely on them.
Mommy, I know you are going to read this. You read all of my posts. I am trying to be more independent. I always feel bad when I need someone else to buy something as simple as food for me. I know you say that it’s no big deal, but that’s not how I feel inside.
No matter what is going on with me lately, I am determined to make this work. I will eat healthier (somehow) and I will lose weight this year. I’m already doing that. I need to drink more water and I know it. I think for me, it’s not about drinking coffee but rather about having something hot to drink. Most of the time hot chocolate or tea just doesn’t cut it.