I have told people about living in a messy apartment, but people usually don’t understand exactly how messy my apartment is. I hated cleaning my room when I was a kid and hardly ever did it. I don’t really get visitors so most of the time it seems like why bother? Not wanting to clean is one of the signs and symptoms of depression and I have let it get so out of control that it has become over whelming and I don’t know where to start. This is going to be hard for me to share but like most of my posts on here I feel like I need to share in order to move on with certain parts of my life. For the longest time this is what my living room looked like as soon as I walked in:
I hate the fact that I live in an apartment that I’m embarrassed to be in and letting someone else see it is frightening. I am borderline hoarder, but the difference between me and a hoarder is that I actually can and will throw random things out. I can part with things. Hoarders cannot. So while I am over whelmed with the amount of mess that I live in every day, I have made a vow to myself that I will take a pile a night.
Tonight I decided to tackle my couch. You can’t even see it in the picture above. It’s there in the bottom right-hand corner. Buried. One of the reasons I started my Etsy shop was to get rid of the fabric that has taken over my apartment. Most of it ends up on my couch. I have one of the most comfortable couches I have ever sat on but you can’t sit on it most of the time because of all the crap. It took me about twenty minutes to uncover it and I am lying comfortably on it while I am writing this. I love to sleep on my couch instead of my bed. One time I slept on my couch for two months due to a back and hip injury.
I also have a beautiful candle/wrought iron centerpiece that my boss got me for my birthday one year. It also has been buried for months. Not anymore. I am trying to get my apartment back to something that I am proud of and want to shop off to people. I’m done living in a mess. I am trying to focus more on me this year and my apartment should reflect the person I am and want to be.
Here is my living room as of tonight:
It’s not perfect and I’m certainly not done. I have a long way to go, but every pile that I clean up and get rid of, encourages me to move on to the next. Before I know it, everything will have a place and I will do my best to put things in their place instead of on the floor or my couch. There are so many things that I want to do with my apartment but until the mess gets cleaned up, I can’t do anything.
Hey… it’s a start.