Women’s March on Washington

I am so proud to be a woman today and was almost moved to tears about the support from millions of people around the world for women’s rights.

Yesterday, a man was sworn in to be the leader of my country, and he has shown me that he does not respect a woman’s rights. I will not call him President Trump. He will forever just be Trump for me. I do not and will not believe any thing that comes out of his mouth because he has gone against his word so many times throughout the last year that I don’t know what is true, what is not, and what to believe. I did not vote for Trump and I cannot support him. I will respect the office he now holds, but I can only view him as the con artist that I see. You may disagree with me, but that’s my opinion. If you voted for Trump, good for you. That’s your right.

I could not walk in the March today because I had to work, but I proudly cheered on the 500+ people who marched in my small, rural town this morning. Here are my reasons why I support the March and why I will fight for my rights with the new President and Republican-majority Congress:

I will NEVER let any man tell me what I can and cannot do with MY body. I do not want a law being put into place where I do not have a say with my body, but a man can do what he pleases with his body without anybody’s approval or any repercussions.

For some of my friends, they refused to walk because of abortion for religious reasons or personal reasons and there is nothing wrong with that. I will support them in their decision. I am Pro-Life to a point. I do not believe in using abortion as a means of birth control. If you refuse to use other forms of birth control, pill, condom or otherwise, and do not want to get pregnant, don’t have sex. Period. Simple as that. I am for abortion, however, when the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest because no woman should have to be reminded of that horrible instance every single day for nine months and I believe rape and incest are not reasons to bring a child into the world. But whether or not a woman aborts a pregnancy due to rape, incest or any other reason should be her choice and her’s alone. Abortion is ending a life and there is no other way to look at it. I will support any woman for making such a difficult decision because it will affect her for the rest of her life and she is the one who has to live with that decision.

I am also for abortion when the pregnancy endangers the mother’s life and the fetus is not viable. My friend had to terminate a pregnancy last year, because the baby would not have survived and would have killed my friend as well. In order for my friend to survive so she could be around to raise her other children, she had to lose any and all hope of ever having more children because the only way to save her life was through a hysterectomy. Should she be punished for aborting that pregnancy? No. No one should. Should her other children be forced to grow up without a mother? No.

I hate that this Republican- majority controlled Congress wants to take away affordable birth control for women while men can still buy condoms for fairly cheap. How is that fair? Sure, women can buy the condoms, but we cannot buy medication for our bodies? The government is making it sound like men are the only ones who get to decide when a woman gets pregnant and she has no say in the matter. There are other health benefits to taking birth control. I had to take it for several years, starting when I was sixteen, to regulate my hormones because I was having cramps so bad I felt like I was paralyzed.

I stand with my LGBTQ community. While I am a straight women, I support everyone in who they are and who they choose to love, no matter what gender they happen to be. We are all HUMAN!! That alone makes us equal. Just because someone disagrees with another person’s choice, by personal or religious reasons, does not mean they cannot and should not have the same rights. LOVE IS LOVE. Gender does not decide that. The heart and soul do.

I stand with the transgender community to use whatever bathroom they want. We are all there to do the same business. Who cares what gender you are or choose to be? I stand with transgenders to be viewed as equal to anyone else.

We now have a President that acts like women are nothing more than “play-things” and I have yet to see him deny this. I saw a video that compared how Obama and Trump talked about their daughters. Obama praised them, that his daughters were kind, respectful, smart, funny, and compassionate. Then it showed Trump talking about his daughters and he kept saying how they have nice legs or that if they weren’t his daughters, he’d date them. I find that revolting.

I’ve heard reports since the election was over and that Trump was elected, that so many men believe that just because Trump got elected, they can grab a woman however they please and she cannot stop them. I’ve also heard rumors about the government wanting to lessen or even get rid of punishments for violence against women. This simply cannot happen. My body is not a “play-thing” for men to grab whenever they please. Any man who tries to grab me without my consent will find himself in the hospital after being throat-punched and the shit kicked out of them. I know how to defend myself and I’m not afraid to.

I’m with the mothers who breastfeed in public. If you don’t like it, turn away. The woman is just trying to feed her child in the most natural way. Breastfeeding babies is why women have breasts. Don’t belittle a breastfeeding mother. Don’t make her feel like a horrible human being because you find it disgusting or unsexy. Simply turn away and don’t look. And don’t make her go into the public restroom to feed her child while sitting on a public toilet. If you wouldn’t eat your lunch in a public restroom, why should a baby?

I stand for my right to be seen as an equal. My favorite picture of a poster I saw today said, “I don’t know why I still need to protest this fucking shit.” Why do we seem to be going backwards? It’s the 21st century for crying out loud.

I am a woman. I have rights that SHOULD be equal to a man’s. I have a voice. I will not be silenced. I will fight and I will show you how to fight like a girl. And today it was apparent that I’m not alone.


This is Me

I finished watching the first ten episodes of This Is Us. Amazing show. I laughed. I cried. I was able to relate to it.

Even though I haven’t blogged much in a long time, I have discussed my weight loss before. I am on that journey once again. With This Is Us, I can relate to Kate the most because I know what it’s like to be morbidly obese and to be that way for the majority of my life. Maybe not to the size that Chrissy Metz is, but she is an amazing woman. Not to mention, beautiful.

I have never looked my weight. People are shocked that, one, I’m not afraid to be honest with my weight and, two, I don’t care who knows how much I weigh. Who cares? That number on the scale does not reflect who I am as a person. I wish society could see that. NBC is tackling this subject very well along with other very difficult subjects that many families around the world can relate to.

Three and a half years ago, I was at the heaviest I’ve been in my life. I stopped stepping on the scale because I didn’t want to see THAT number on the scale. It was like, if I didn’t see THAT number, then I could never weigh what I knew I did. I weighed about 325 pounds at my heaviest. I’m not proud of that. I didn’t realize that I was that big until this summer when my grandma took a picture of me using a saw for the first time in my life. It wasn’t until I found another picture of me when I was at my heaviest that I saw the difference. I cried.


Me in 2013 (left) and me in 2016 (right)

One thing that so many people who haven’t struggled with their weight don’t understand is that when you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you tend to not notice a difference until that difference is significant. I know the pictures aren’t from the same angle, but I remember sucking in my stomach for the picture in 2013. One thing I can see in the mirror is how slimmer my face is. In the three and a half years between these pictures, I have lost 80 pounds. That is the most weight I have ever lost.

I was weighed by the doctor in 2007 at 275 pounds and by 2009 I was down to 225. Then stress at my job and depression fully kicked in and I turned to food as a comfort and ended up where I was in 2013. While I was so excited to lose 50 pounds, I ended up gaining 100. Food doesn’t judge you. Food is always there for you. So it’s understandable that so many people turn to food as a comfort.

There’s a part in This is Us where Chrissy Metz’s character Kate gets frustrated when she’s been counting her calories and closely watching what she eats. She works out so much and she barely loses the weight, where as her love interest isn’t working as hard as she is and he loses quite a bit of weight. I know that struggle. I’ve been there. I think every one struggling to lose weight has.

One thing that I’ve learned that works for me is to lose the weight really slow. I’m not in a hurry to lose my weight. I’m not on one of the weight loss shows like The Biggest Loser, Extreme Weight Loss or My 600-lb Life. What people have to keep in mind, is that on all of those shows, the participants are under strict doctor supervision. I’ve always been told by the various doctors I have over my life that people should not lose weight as quickly as they seem to on most of these shows. With that being said, I’m not a doctor, but I don’t see how losing 20 pounds in one week is healthy for anyone.

So here I am. The beginning of 2017 and I am starting this year out at 247 pounds (I gained 2 pounds over Christmas but I refuse to fret over it). While most people are making the New Year’s resolution to lose weight, I’m not. I don’t make resolutions. I will however, focus on eating less, eating healthy, drinking more water, and getting closer to my goal of 175 pounds. I have been on Weight Watchers for the last few months and I also need to focus on using their system to its full potential too since it really does work. I’m not losing weight to make anyone but myself happy. After almost losing my life in November of 2014, I just want to be healthy and be healthy for me.

Thank you NBC and the writers for This is Us. It’s a great show and it is dealing with many issues that people face every day. Thank you to the cast for giving this show life. I’m anxious to see what comes next in this heart-felt story.