I cannot believe how long it has been since I last blogged. Three months!! I just haven’t had the time to sit down and type out my thoughts and I’ve also been going through yet another bout of depression. My mom finally figured out why I really started feeling the way I did. I was house-poor living in an apartment. My debt got to the point where I could not afford my rent on top of paying the minimum due on my credit cards. I was struggling month-to-month.
In August, we had to put my grandfather into a care facility after he had to be in the hospital for three days. We don’t have the strength to lift him if he falls and we had been talking about it for a while too. His quality of life improved within the first week of being in the Care Center. With Pa having to go into the Care Center, I knew that it would be hard to have my grandma live in a three bedroom house with just her and the dog. I asked one of the hardest questions I’ve had to in a long time. I decided that it was time for me to give up my apartment of six and a half years and move in with my grandma. I had to put almost all of what I own in a storage unit but I came to the realization that my apartment became one of the main sources of my depression. The mess just built and built because I didn’t see the point in cleaning it because I never had anyone over.
It has been a good transition for me. I never became sad to lose my apartment. Not once have I felt like I’ve made a mistake. I know that I should have moved out of there a few years ago but I kept trying to make it work when it couldn’t. No matter what I did, I gained weight because I just didn’t care. I’ve gained about 30 pounds in just over two years. Depression is a horrible thing and can do things to your body that you almost cannot control. I’m still getting used to the way my grandma does things and I know that I have to live by her rules because it’s her house and I am just living here.
For the first time in a long time I know that I can save money and still pay off my debt in a timely manner. For the first time I am feeling good about where I am in life. I still suffer from depression and need to remember to take my medication but I don’t have an empty house to come home to (except right now because Ma is in Alabama visiting her brother and it’s just me and the dog). For once I get to cook for more than one person, which quite frankly I don’t know how to do.
I’ve temporarily put my Etsy stuff on hold because my stuff isn’t selling and I’m not sure why. I think I just need time to reinvent my shop and re-do the photos. I also need time to make a lot more stuff. In the meantime, I decided to start selling Scentsy. It’s a great company and I love everything that they have. You can visit my shop at http://courtneymcelvogue.scentsy.us and you can even order things from me there.
In just the month that I have lived here, I have already read three books. I haven’t read that much in two years. It just started to seem like everything that I liked wasn’t important anymore. As February inches closer and closer, I’m really not looking forward to turning 30. That’s right. 30! I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be at 30. I’ve started trying online dating again but nothing is happening. The type of guy I like just isn’t interested in a girl like me. At least I haven’t found one that does. I went on a few dates with a guy but we were just on different levels and I’m not sure I’m fully ready for a full-time, being with each other every second of every day yet. I still need my space and time to myself and I don’t think he wanted that. He plunged when I dipped my toe. Stupid metaphor I know but that’s what my brain thought of so I went with it.
Well I’m getting really tired and need to get to bed. I will try to blog more than once every three months.
I said that I only needed a few days off from blogging and here I am one month later. So what have I been up to you might ask? Well, I’ve been focusing on my Etsy shop, A Crafty Witch, and building my inventory. Over the last few weeks I’ve taken up crocheting again and it has been wonderful. I miss it. I also bought the book Stitch N’ Bitch and I have made a vow to myself that I will learn how to knit by the end of this year. My grandma taught me years and years ago but I never stuck with it like I did with crocheting and I have lost most of my knowledge. I’m hoping that between this book and my mom I will learn again.
So to celebrate my return to blogging, which I will hopefully write at least once a week, I thought I would share my wonderful crochet creations with you. I’m also having a Christmas in July sale on my Etsy shop. Type in the code “christmasinjuly2011” in the coupon section at checkout and enjoy free shipping for the entire month of July.
Coffee Press Cozy
Coffee Press Cozy
Coffee Press Cozy
Memo Pad Holder
So I completely forgot to write last night but I’m actually not that mad at myself. I’m up to, I think, six days missed this year. I’ve been focusing on getting this insomnia under control because it’s affecting work now and I can’t have that happening. I’m not out-of-balance or anything like that but I either get to work on time or a few minutes late. Yesterday I was fifteen minutes late to work because I over-slept my alarm. I can’t keep doing this and last night I started taking melatonin to see if that helps.
I’ve noticed that since I started the Post-a-Day Challenge, my blog about my Celiac Disease has been forgotten about. I really wanted to start that to help spread the word that it isn’t as hard as people think to live a gluten-free life. I’ve done it for almost nine years now. I haven’t blogged on there since February I think. I don’t know because I haven’t gotten on there myself.
For the past few months I’ve also noticed that I have blogged about random things because it’s 11:30pm and I haven’t posted. That’s not what I wanted when I started this challenge. This was meant to be a way to get me to write more and I have. I’ve used this challenge to open up to people, be more comfortable with who I am as a person and not be afraid to show the world who I am. Six months into the challenge, I think, or at least I hope, I’ve achieved that goal. I’ve written about things I would have never shared with the world. Ever.
But lately I feel like I’ve become overwhelmed with everything that is going on in my life right now. I’m trying desperately to get things to sell on my Etsy shop. I knew it was going to be difficult but I’m starting to wonder if it was a good thing. I wont give up on the shop just yet. I still have hope because I know it takes time. I just need that one person to discover my shop and off I go.
The biggest thing that I need right now is to focus on some things that have been left behind this year. I still am focusing on me this year and I will still blog as much as I can, but if I don’t blog every day, please don’t think that I have stopped. I might just need a little bit of a break. My mom and I are trying to find a place to stay now that we get to go to Comic Con and I’m trying to pay down my credit card debt (which is going nowhere by the way). So I promise to keep blogging but I might just need a few days to gather my thoughts for a really good post. One that I want to write, not just because I need to for a challenge. I might just take a few days to catch up on my Celiac blog.
My mom taught me how to crochet when I was a kid by having me sit across from her and I copied her movements. My mom is right-handed while I am a lefty. Crocheting is calming to me and I started making stuff last night. This is what I was going to write about last night but my internet didn’t like me. The only unfortunate thing about me taking up crocheting is that it tends to upset my carpel tunnel in my left wrist. I did figure out that I can crochet with my brace on and it is still comfortable.
I used to make these note pad holders when I was a kid and sold them at the craft shows that my mom and I went to. They are the easiest things to make and I am updating my design by adding embellishments to them. I even drew out a few designs to make them out of fabric but where they are sleek and sexy. I think I need new things on my Etsy shop and I think this will help. I didn’t see anything like them on there so I might have a shot.
Remember a few days ago when I wrote about my scrapbooking and how I was going to make one of just my recipes? Well I got one almost done tonight. I got all but two things glued down and the section for the directions might have to be typed only because I don’t think it will all fit onto one page if I handwrite it. I really want to hand-write all f it, but I think if a few are typed it won’t be a big deal. I think I even have a font that is similar to my handwriting. I’ll make it work.
So I thought I’d share the page with all of you.
I think one of the things that really makes a scrapbook page special is any personal touches, beside the pictures. My favorite part of this page is the title block. I just took my pens (the colored ones were almost dead by the way) and let my creativity shine. What can I say? It’s fun.
Photography has always interested me and I almost always have a camera on me. I started doing the Project 365 but I got so busy that I stopped taking pictures everyday. It got to a point where I took pictures of random stuff because it was almost midnight and I hadn’t taken a picture yet. I will start again but I still have taken more pictures this year than I usually would.
One thing that always stumped me was how to display all these pictures that I have taken over the years. Then I found out about scrapbooking and I fell in love with it. I haven’t done much scrapbooking over the last few years but I am starting to get back into it. One of my latest ideas is to take all of my original recipes and put them into a scrapbook. I started tonight.
I found these papers that look like they would be out of a 1950’s kitchen, glitter and all. If it wasn’t for this pack of paper, I probably would never have thought of this. Not only do I get to display my recipes in a creative way, but it’s a way to preserve my ribbons that I have won from the Tri County Fair for my food.
I decided to hand write them to give them more of a personal touch. It will also be something special that I can pass on to my children one day.